Awaiting Summer

I am trying to be patient....really I am.  I really want summer to be here.  NOW!  Not the hot weather, or even the lazy days....but being a mom is what I long for.   I am ready for a break from work.   The routine of being home with my child....cooking, playing, even cleaing....playgroups, trips to the beach and zoo, visits with friends and family, the pool.....I am looking so forward to all of it.  I am excited it is coming.  I am enjoying the last (long as they may be) weeks of school.  Thrilled at the possibility of what this summer will bring.  I am feeling like a big change is coming! 

Are You Happy?

I love this......

Changing The Channel

I have to admit that over the last few days I have been feeling very blah....kind of like I was stuck in a rut.  Maybe it is because it has been hard to get out and about with all of the snow on the ground, or maybe because of the long hours I have been working, or maybe something I am just not recognizing.  Whatever the case, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  I just didn't feel.....good.   I could tell myself that I was grateful for many things but tiredness had overcome me.  I felt like I was literally stuck in a rut.  Until.....yesterday.   Sure, small things have been materializing that I need and want....just not the major things.  I decided to listen to the first disc of 'The Secret' again.  I hadn't listened to it in quite awhile and what I heard explained it all.  I was most definitely stuck in a rut.  Tuned into a different channel or frequency.  My thoughts were focusing on all kinds of things and I was not tuned into me.  I was letting outside circumstances and disappointment seep in.  After listening to the disc in the car, it  sounded like it was made for me to hear in that exact moment.  Of course!  Isn't that the way it always seems to work?  I just needed to change the channel in my mind. It was that easy, just the flick of the thought switch.  Now I am tuned into channel one, which on my dial is on demand.....the show: Positivity.  I can access it anytime I need or want to!  The episode (my favorite): Thinking about what I do want instead of what I don't. 

I really am thankful for the good things are people that have come into my life recently.  An old friend and a new baby, a carseat we desperately needed, supportive friends.  I am indeed very very blessed.

And now, a little comerical break, a beautiful quote:

"Doubt slips in and when it does, I am thankful that God and the universe is working in perfect order and am grateful for these funds....and so it is."                                                                 Frank Colvin

And now back to scheduled programming.  Positive Thinking!

What We Have

After showing my 8th grade class the video 'War Dance' (the story of Ugandan children placed in a refugee camp after being displaced from thier homes or orphaned by the Ugandan cival war) I wonderd when something was so serverly wrong and negative, how much does it take for one to be able to overcome?  For many of us, we stress over meager things.  Yes we have disease and death and poverty in our own country and I agree that we should be reaching out to those who are less fortunate and in need, but this film was such a reminder to me that I am so blessed to be living the life in the country that I am.  I am so grateful to have been born into a free and generally safe country.  Even though my family struggled greatly with money and fell into the category of the "disfunctional" 80% of American families, I never ever had to worry for my safety.  I never needed to worry about someone coming into to my community or home and brutalizing myself or loved ones.  As much as I have focused on and tried to deal with my difficult childhood and past unpleasant experiences I never had to deal with what many many people world wide are going through and living as their daily life.  Obvious to me now, and in my opinion, it is human nature to be consumed with yourself and your own problems.  It is a mindset that we are raised with.  In this film, the students of the school at the refugee camp expressed thier feeling about music and how important and inspiring it was to them in their daily life.  They beleived that it took their pain away and as a result for the present moment of creating music, it did.  Music was able to transport them to another place.  A spirtual and whole place where beauty and community and harmony resides.  Music was part of their secret.  Even though the pain is so severe in this place, there still lies hope, inspiration, love and joy.  It is an intrinsic feeling of actually creating something beautiful as a harmonious community.  Not a superfical joy of do I have the newest ipod to play my music on.  A line that I love from the film from a 13 year old girl was "even though we live in war country we still have good to give."  I think to myself that if this girl can have that outlook after losing both of her parents, her siblings and her home, I should have that outlook.  I pray for, and bless all of the people in Uganda and around the world who have expierenced brutality and evil and also the ones who are inflicting it, often times not even of thier own free will.  I wish joy and peace for them.  Even though there are so many things that can potentially be wrong with our lives, I am reminded that there is so much beauty in the seemingly small things that I take advantage of.  I am so appreciative to have music in my life daily.  I am thankful for the abundanace of love and peace that I am able to feel today.  I am thankful for the gift of compassion that this film has given to some of my students.  I am thankful for this day!

Secret Wordle

Someone showed me a website called wordle.net a long time ago where you could tag words from your webpage and those words would make a neat design.  I think these words have so much meaning all their own.  Together, yet separate.  There is beauty in this random design.  And I feel this beauty and meaning so completely in looking at this.  These words came from me.  They are me.  They were and still are an inspiration to me.

I am abundantly blessed with inspiration, love and gratefulness.

Are You Ready?

As I was talking to my Mother a few weeks ago about my dreams and hopes for the future, before she even knew of 'the secret' she made a comment that has stuck with me.  I was discussing my desire to move into a new house and stated how I didn't want to look at million dollar homes, just ones that I felt were attainable.  She said "you just probably aren't ready for a million dollar home".  After thinking a lot about that statement, it becomes clearer every single day.  With the wonderful thoughts of living in a grand house with lots of land also for me comes the vison of all that I would need to do and have to maintain the property.  She is right....I am not ready for it...on many levels.  I am not fully able to believe that it is what I want.  Probably because it isn't.  I have become very humbled lately focusing on what I am truly thankful and grateful for.  When I have moments of anger and frustration it is getting much easier to let them go and focus on something positive and they generally resolve themselves quickly.  I am finding that I no longer want millions of dollars and a huge mansion (I really can't even imagine what kind of life that would be either).  What I really want is to be in a home that I feel truly happy in.  A home that I can enjoy with my family.  A home that we can grow in and play in.  A home that we can LIVE in with joy.  (It is not a coincidence that my husband and I agree on the exact house and have found it.)  I wasn't ready to truly set the intention because I was not really sure why I wanted what I wanted.  I also wasn't willing to give up on the how.  When I would think about the house I would go over all of the possible scenarios of how it could happen and then sqaush them to save myself the dissapointment.  And, what do I feel anyway?  Disappointment.  I am ready to finally believe that I deserve to be happy and live in our dream house.  I am ready to set the intention to live there.  I am leaving the how up to God and the universe. 

I am grateful for this day that I have to attract so much abundance and blessing. 

I am so grateful that I am already abundantly blessed with my wonderful family and friends.

I am so grateful that I feel love and peace towards people.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to record these feelings here and remind myself daily that I hold the key to my life.

Love

Love!  How appropriate for Valentines Day!  It really is the best feeling in the world.  To love someone and to be loved in return.  Wouldn't it be great if we could just bottle up that feeling of complete and unconditional love and open it up when ever we needed it?  The kind of love you feel when your spouse does something completely selfless for you.  The feeling of really laughing together or hearing your baby laugh.  The feeling of your baby falling asleep on your chest.  The kind of love our dog shows us always?  The kind of love that brings tears to your eyes and makes you want to burst!  When I am feeling angry and unloved it is hard to move beyond the negative,  I will open up that bottle of pure love and "feel the love."  Love is the ultimate feeling of goodness.  Feeling love helps to attract what is wanted!  I want to feel love everyday, both recieved and given.

I am so grateful to be loved!

Setting The Intention

When I am able to wake up in the morning and say thank you before I even step out of bed, my head clears of the leftover foggy sleep quickly allowing me to set a positive intention for my day.  This is such a powerful thing for me.  Thinking about how I want my day to go.  Somedays it takes longer than others to get to a state of happiness and gratefulness and other days it comes quickly.  Sometimes there are stumbling blocks and other days I sail freely through.  On the days that I am able to set my intention (like this morning) I feel energized and I can let those seemingly small stumbling blocks fall away from me.  Like my mom used to say "I have bigger fish to fry." I also remember that when people hurt or bother me I look at it from a place of compassion and empathy rather than anger (not always at first...but I'm getting there) knowing that my bad feelings towards them are esentially hurting the core of me and shaping my day into something undesired. 

My intention for the day is to emit love to all things.  I want to attract a state of happiness and contentment.

My intention is to focus on what I do want to enter my life rather than what I want to avoid or do not want.

I am thankful for this day and my opportunity to record my thoughts. 

Living In The Moment

Choices.  Perspective.  Circumstances.  Situations.  Often we experience or create these things without really thinking about or realizing why they are coming into our lives.  I remind myself daily to live in the moment.  "Remember to remember"  as Sandra Byrne puts it.  Easier said than done.  Doubt creeps up and frustration sets in.  This situation is not what I wanted to draw to me.  How did I end up here.  Each thought spurs the next until I am ready to break down and burst into tears.  I think if I cry for a minute I might feel better.  Then, finally as a last resort, I ask.  When I finally give up my control of the situation and give it up to God and the universe and I ask for what I need.  I need some positive perspective.  Immediately things begin to tip in my favor.  Although I am in awe, I am really not surprised.  The perfect conversation and interaction comes from the perfect person at the perfect time and my perspective shifts.  I begin to remember to feel grateful for the moment that I am given.  I am grateful for the good friend that is there on the same frequency as I am.  I am grateful for human experience.  I am grateful that I am able to see past the situation and circumstance and feel better.  I am grateful (and I laugh at) for the staff in-service that has us visualize, draw, and record our wants, needs and dreams. I realize  that I actually have control all along but I didn't see it.  I see the beauty of the so called irony.

This new mindset and way of living takes practice.  I am reminded and humbled by the power that I and we all hold.  I am reminded to take a few minutes for myself (preferably early in the morning) to begin my day on the right foot.  A thankful one.  But, for now I take this opportunity to re-play my day inserting good thoughts, news, situations, and actions in for the ones that I was not satisfied with.  And, I remind myself to "remember to remember."

Motivation

Get clear about what you want.  Ask.  Believe.  Receive.  That is the creative process.

Believing is usually the hardest part for me.  At first I had a hard time asking too.  I felt like what I was asking for was wrong, or too much, or not enough.  I was so unsure of myself.  I didn't trust myself to make the right choices.  I am getting better at asking now though.  When I really looked at what my motivation behind what I was asking for was, it began to get clearer and easier.  What is my purpose for asking for or wanting that?  I had to examine me so see what was driving that choice, want or percieved need.  Do I want it because I think it will better my life (superficial wants)?  Do I want it because I know it will better my life?  The real wants, I realized were not necessarily things (well maybe a few) but more of feelings.  With self reflection came a cleansing.  I feel less and less like buying material items and more and more like enjoying what I already have, which I have realized is everything I could ever want or need.  It is already here, inside of me.  It was just waiting to come out.  Happiness, gratitude, bliss, love, truly wanting others to feel the same....it is now allowing me to begin to freely ask.  Now the "things" that I want are to propell these feelings, not to fill some material void. 

Sometimes, when I still am getting caught up in the 'how', I remind myself that I already have it all.  I have tapped into a part of me that is fulfilling all of my wants and needs.  I have finally recognized and understood my faith for the first time.  God lives in me, through me and with me at all times.  That is the 'how'. 

I am gratful for this day, a bright and sunny snow day at home with my family.
I am blessed with this opportunity to write down and reflect and remind myself of my purpose.
I am grateful to be allowed to recieve. 

Blissful Blessing

All things deserve blessing.  A hard concept to grasp at first.  When you bless everyone and everything around you, you are blessing yourself in return.  It feels so good to let go of the anxiety of worry about what other people think.  When I catch myself beginning to worry about what someone may have thought of something I have said or done, I am reminded to bless them and keep faith in me.  I am really beginning to find the beauty in the very small things, completly transforming my view of the world.  Life is beautiful and I am blessed. 

Yesterday I read an article about bliss and I really stopped to think "what makes me truly happy".  For a long time I felt completely disconnected from happiness.  If you would have asked me, I would have said I was a happy person, a generally optimistic person.  Reflecting back now, I was living in fear, anxiety and not at all in the moment.  I was too busy worrying about what might be and what would not be.  Of course my family, especially my son, brought me happiness, but I was stuck in the monotony of day to day life.  I was content being just along for the ride.  I now feel like I am driving (with very little traffic and red lights along the way).  Driving to where I want to go every moment of everyday.  I now feel joy and happiness in the smallest things that I do.  Even cleaning the toilet brings a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. :)  The bigger things that now fill my life with so much abundance....watching my son learn what he is capable of, my husband greeting me at the door at the end of a school day, my dog waiting patiently for my son to had her a nibble of food from his highchair....these are the things that I bless. 

With this feeling comes no fear, no anxiety, no stress.  I feel free to dream and ask for whatever I want and need and I know that they will come.  I will live in my dream house! I do live in my dreamhouse.  All of my furniture and pictures fit perfectly. We have a beautiful yard to play in.  I have a wonderful porch for my herb garden.  I have a beautiful kitchen to cook in.  My dog has a cool lake to splash in.  I have unlimited time to enjoy this home with my family.

I am blissfully blessed.

Happiness Is An Inside Job

Ultimately each one of us is the only one who can essentially control our own energy.  However, it seems that situations others bring can have a tremendous effect on us, especially if it is an especially close relationship with another.  Those relationships and situations can bring joy and also pain.  In my experience thus far with 'the secret' this is by far the hardest thing for me to overcome.  When those around me that I love are out of sorts and negative my commitment, faith, postive energy (what ever you want to call it) is put to the test.  Daily, I am given small reminders that bring me back to my focus though, and the more I practice gratitude and send love to all, the easier it becomes.  My husband recently told me that I have changed (to this statement I became very excited).  He made the statement with quite a bit of conviction but also confusion.  To me he seemed scared because from his eyes we were no longer on the same page.  But slowly, he has begun to change too.  He has always been grounded in "reality".  It has been ingrained in him.  I have been reminded and try to gently remind him that "reality" is flexible.  If you don't like what it is, then change it! 

The question of "how?" have been asked over and over recently.  "It doesn't matter I reply, I just believe."
"Do you believe in God?"  I asked him.  "Do you put  your faith in him and trust him?"
"Of course!"  He replied. 
"Has he ever let you down when you really needed him?" I asked.
"Never."
"It is the same thing.  Now you understand it."

Since we are made in the likeness of God and from the energy of all things, we can choose.  It all comes from within.  I recently opened a dove dark chocolate and the wrapper read "Happiness is an inside job."  So true.  I put that foil wrapper on the fridge with the picture of our house and check that we need to purchase it, to remind myself to stay happy, focused and believe. 

Today I am thankful for friendship, sunshine on the snow, the seeming infinite knowledge of small children, the unquenchable curiosity of  small children, my amazing family, my wonderful job and students, my new understanding of my faith, this gift for coming into my life! 

I am abundantly blessed and truly grateful!

What We All Want

I have to laugh.  As much praise as something can receive it can also receive the same amount of skepticism.  After beginning to apply 'the secret' to my life I have totally begun to have a major shift in my perception and feeling towards myself, others and many situations and things.  I can absolutely say that I truly believe it provided an opportunity for ME to change ME.  The book, movie or CDs did not change me.  I did. The Secret just gave me the vehicle to get where I wanted to.  I took it upon myself and made the decision to start to practice being grateful and loving towards everyone and everything and in turn I feel happy.  I recently read an article in Christianity Today about the secret and I laughed.  Anyone who thinks this secret is about wanting and getting "things" does not understand the purpose at all.  Those "things" (at least good) will not come until your life until you put into practice and feel all of the 'things' - love, compassion, gratitude - that Christians are supposed to feel.  Priests, Ministers, Pastors, Decons, Religious of all sorts say that God lives in us.  Well guess what?  The law of attraction says that too.  We are all ONE.  By choosing to be loving and grateful (what harm can that do anyway?) to God, the universe, or whatever you choose, it is you that has to live with it.  No one else can make those choices for you or be hindered because of them. It is not a coincidence that those who are not willing to 'accept' search their whole life.  So to the skeptics I say, I wish peace and joy and enlightenment to you.  I hope that you will find what makes you abundantly happy. 

I am abundantly blessed with my own happiness.

I am grateful for my miraculous life and all that I have to offer and receive.  

Today I blessed with and grateful for this wonderful and magical snow day that enables me to spend unlimited time with my beautiful son and family.

Seeing The Good In The Bad

Bad things 'potentially' happen all of the time.  I have been reminded once again how powerful the secret really is and have seen a 'potentially' rough situation, bringing feelings of unease and stress, turn into a WONDERFUL situation.  I think about how truely thankful I am that out of utter craziness and sadness came a much needed visit with my mom and my mother in law.  I was so blessed to get to spend some time, have dinner, and share this gift with two of the most wonderful women in my life.  It is a reminder that I am so thankful to have such a close relationship with both of my moms and I am so appreciative of what they bring to my son's life as well.  And to my Mother, I know it will be worth the 300 mile round trip drive you took in one day.  If you let it will change your life! I love you!

"We are here to change. We are here to grow, develop and unfold. We are progressive beings that have infinite capacity" - Michael Beckwith

I Am

'I am' is a way that I have started many self proclamations for most of my life, probably like most people. Lately though I have a felt a shift in the focus of my 'I am' statements.  I used to be riding on auto-pilot letting what I have been taught to think control my thoughts and words.  I used to say things like:  I am so tired, or I am feeling sick.  I am so stressed out, or I am so fat.  I am having a bad hair day, or I am not pretty.  Years and years of 'trying to work through my past' have always seemed to come up short.  I was told my entire life (by people who do not know), don't be vain, don't expect that to happen, don't be so selfish and then on to you are so vain, you always expect impossible things to happen and they won't, and you are so selfish.  And, I believed them.  Often subconsciously, and more often consciously.  

Now by applying to my life this LAW I now know what I really am.

I am confident.
I am loved.
I am loving.
I am in control of my universe.
I am beautiful.
I am generous.
I am compassionate.
I am wealthy.
I am abundant.
I am anything I want to be.

I am realizing how good it feels to love myself!

One Day At A Time

Some days are harder.  Actually for me it is usually the morning that is harder.  Between being up frequently at night with a baby that only wants to sleep on me and then trying to get myself in gear to get to showered, dressed, kid dressed, and get to the babysitter and then work 'on time' the morning often brings STRESS!  Why is it that some days I wake up and feel I can conquer the world and I am able to accomplish much and keep myself in a postive and grateful state all day and then, on days like today, I feel defeated before I even get out of bed.  Before my feet even touch the floor and I have waken up five minutes earlier than I wanted to and I can already feel the tension radiating from my husband that he is not looking forward to his day at home with our son (something I would gratefully trade my day for).   It is on days like today that the law of attraction becomes increasingly clear, in a not positive and often unpleasant sort of way.  Not enough time to put on makeup or dry my hair = feeling not physically attractive.  Rushing to work = frustration.  Arguing with my husband = feelings of resentment.  Then in the car I realize what kind of signal or frequency I am emitting to the universe, as I have to wait at the end of my street for a long line of cars to go by (making me even later).  I need to get my feelings, thoughts and emotions in check NOW!  As I drive (without my 'Secret' cds playing because my husband tells me my car was out of gas and I had to take his without a working cd player) I force myself to breath out all of my stress and begin to account the fabulousness that I was able to attract yesterday and remind myself that the 'choice' is mine.  They are, after all, my thoughts and feelings.  I am the only one with the power to change them and make my day into something great.

I think to the previous day and how my best friend from high school called to chat and share the news that she is expecting her second baby after I was thinking of her and wondering how she was doing just the day before that. 

I remind myself how yesterday I drove by "our house" and on the way there thought 'I will see someone there and talk to someone about this house', and then ended up meeting the neighbor and having a wonderful conversation about the neighborhood and the house.

I remind myself how in the midst of my conversation with my friend she shares the story of how she and her husband didn't even bid for their house because they didn't even think they could come close to afford the asking price, but were asked by the sellers to buy it anyway, sending a sense of sheer excitement through me that ANYTHING is possible.

I think about how when I got home my husband greeted me with a smile and told me he got another e-mail from the realtor of the house asking us about our interest.

I know I attracted all of these things yesterday and I can do it again today!  I will live in this house!  I will live in this house.  I will live in this house.  I LIVE IN THIS HOUSE.  Despite what my husband thinks about our financial situation, we have more than enough and are overflowing with abundance.  I am so grateful that I have this gift of power to make the universe line up for me.  I am so thankful that I have all the time I desire to spend with my son and do all the things that I need to realign myself with what I want.  I am capable and deserving of anything and everything I desire.  I am so excited that the universe is working, right now, for me drawing this new life (with my family in this house 103 Lois Lane) into existance for me.

I am so thankful also that I no longer feel selfish and want to share this gift and all things with any and everyone.  I now see how much any and all people can benefit from this way of thinking and this power that we all posess.  That deep down I always knew was in me, but never quite knew how to tap into.  I no longer feel jealous, but I am truely happy for people when things go well for them.  I don't think about what I don't have anymore, but I think about what I am blessed with and what I am grateful for.  For the rest of the day I will express only gratitude and love as I occasionally picture myself lovingly feeding my baby or cooking in my beautiful kitchen.  As I finish this post I now feel that LOVE, PEACE, PROSPERITY, ABUNDANCE are all mine today and everyday.

I am also thankful that LOST was such an awesome episode last night.  I know 'The Secret' is a huge part of that show as well!

My Secret Blessings

I recently read the book 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne which discusses and teaches how to implement the law of attraction into everyday life.  Thus, being the inspiration for this new blog.  For the last few weeks I have been going over and over in my mind of how I can make these principals really work, and I mean really work for me.  I have also been, for the last several weeks, trying to improve and expand my blog that I started for my son when he was born.  Then yesterday, BAM!  I suddenly felt a very powerful urge to blog about.....well....this.  I really enjoy blogging and always feel a sense of accomplishment and over all happiness when I finish a post, so I thought why not make this part of 'My Secret'.  This can be part of my vison board and a place for me to actually physically manifest the gratitude that now I am learning to let myself feel daily.  Whether this is my 'secret' slice of the web or hundreds or even thousands read this, I know that the happiness that is coming from within me can now be concrete. 

Today I will start by stating my intention for what I want to attract to me TODAY:

I am so thankful that I have a wonderful, loving and caring husband who I can laugh with and share all things with daily.


I am so thankful for my beautiful son who is such a magical part of my everyday life.


I am so thankful for my husband's successful business and the ease in which money comes into our lives.


I am so thankful for my wonderful job in which I have great relationships with my colleagues and students.


I am so thankful that we live in our dream house: 103 Lois Lane

I am so thankful that I have all of the time that I desire to spend with my loved ones and all that I enjoy!


"The good news is that the moment you decide that what you know is more important than what you have been taught to believe, you will have shifted gears in your quest for abundance.  Success comes from within, not from without."           
                                                            ~Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)